Sometimes it just isn't fair!

...And you just don't have to be okay with it all. This past month has had it's share of downs. We have felt the weight and tried to bare it, especially since we had our own little light and strength, a new baby was coming. We could do anything and make it through anything. But that all changed this week. We chalk up another loss (which bring it to 6 for us) and are now feeling cheated and deflated. So I headed out of town with Corey for the week to give me sometime. (THANK HEAVENS for grandma Shirley and aunt Hayley that came on Sun. to help out here.)

On top of this Corey is starting the first phase of his radiation treatment. it entails him going off all of his meds and sticking to a strict iodine free diet. (again THANK HEAVENS for Shirley and Hayley) Corey's mom and sister have started preparing food that he can have and helping with all of that.

I was asked by someone if I blamed God for what happened. I can honestly say that I don't blame him nor am I mad at Him for what has and is happening. I know that we each have our own trials and test to endure and overcome and learn from. But I will say I really don't like His plan for us right now. It is hard and I wish there was some other way for us to be tested and taught than this. I hope that there will come a time that I might better understand why this is the trial I have been given (again! Six times,...you think I would've learned what I needed by now from this trial.) I will say that I am extremely blessed to have the wonderful husband and three beautiful children that I do. Corey is such a strength in our family and the kids are really are great kids!